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']]}Well, the well-wisher that I am of politicians across the types of lies, murders, bribes and disruptions they create, i have a solution for the Bhartiya Janata Party. And it is right down their alley of problem solving - offer prayers at the ancient, charming and the extremely holy Shiva Temple at Gokarna, Karnataka.
I was at the temple last month. I happened to get there when the temple was closed (now thats another thing i dont understand about India - I mean, i have been to so many temples that are closed in the afternoons, especially in the south....how does that happen...i mean, does GOD take an afternoon siesta? Is it HIS time off? Is HE on his break? Is HE having lunch? Does HE have a second job in the afternoons? Is he part-timing at another temple that is in fact open in the afternoons? Is HE out for a smoke? Does HE have to pick up his kids from the creche? Maybe the afternoons is when HE actually attends to the real problems of war, disease, natural disasters, wardrobe malfunctions and cocaine addictions. Wonder if this happens in the temples for Goddesses as well....anyway, will save all these questions for another post)
Well, as i enter the foyer of the "closed" temple, a swarm of Brahmins surround me. "What do you want? Darshan or pooja? What language do you speak? Hindi? Marathi? No no, which country are you from? Do you have any hashish on you? (nono, they didnt ask me that, but it would have been funny if they did) What do you want? Darshan or pooja?"
This last question was repeated several times. In the mean time, some other lost tourist like me happened to stand next to me and was sucked into the interrogation. He answered, "Darshan". They lost all their enthusiasm and very dryly told him, "The temple is closed, come back at 5". They look back at me with anticipation. I had to say, "Pooja".
With some very covert visual communication, one 'pujari' stayed with me and the others went hunting for other devotees.
Then started one of the most amazing sales pitches i have heard. Complete shock and awe happened.
Pujari (in Hindi): Who do you want to do the pooja? Why do you want to do the pooja? Today is the absolute perfect day to do whatever pooja you want to do. Stars x, y, l, and stars from hollywood, lollywood and bollywood are all in place for you to do whatever pooja you might want to do. I can do any pooja you want me to? Tell me fast cause, I will have to start making preparations.
Me: eerr....
Pujari: You want to do it for your Ma? Baap? (yes, this clean, pious brahmin said Baap), Dada-Dadi? Nana-Nani? For your job? You want to get married? I can do it. But you have to do it quickly. I have to make preparations.
Me: eerr....
Pujari: I can start now and you can come back by 5, it will all be ready. We can easily do it for Rs. 1000. Like i said, today is a very good reason to do a pooja.
Me: eerr...1000?
Pujari: Well, we can do it for 500 as well.
Me: 500?
Pujari: 250 also, or even 100...you decide how much faith you have. Its all up to you. But you have to tell me quick. I have to make the preparations.
Me: Hmm....well, i want to get a new job. BUT, as it is cloudy today, and i never do poojas on cloudy days, i will come back early tomorrow morning at 6 am and meet you here.
Pujari (the twinkle in his eye has now disappeared): hmm...alright, but i come only at 7, but i can meet you here at six.
Well, what is to be learnt here? That the very understanding, adjusting and skillful pandits at the Gokarna Temple are virtually capable of any puja whatsoever.
The top brass at the BJP should consider a visit to the temple forthwith and make an offering of nothing less than Rs. 1 lakh. It would be a small price to pay to have their obstacles taken care of.
