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As promised, this is our attempt to capture one of the most insightful,incisive and simply incredible news show on the Indian television scene today-the RKB show! Firstly lets start of with some generic features of the show-things which you will almost always see on the RKB show.- For any given discussion he will call 7 or more so-called experts to the studio. These experts will then be seated in a studio which is smaller than my balcony. As a result the experts will sit shoulder to shoulder. Much like how 4 people sit on a seat meant for 3 in 2nd class compartments of Mumbai local trains.
- He will suddenly cut off guests to say something totally unrelated to the topic being discussed. One day I was watching him conduct an enthralling discussion on gonorrhea when without warning he shut the guest up by saying "Aaaaand I must tell our viewers that India has lost it's 9th wicket in the match versus Pakistan! Looks like we are going to lose the match." His guest looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He did not know if he should continue speaking about gonorrhea or if he was now expected to speak about India's abysmal performance.
- While his studio guests are speaking he will totally ignore them and look at the computer installed on his desk instead. God only knows what he checks out so seriously. I have a feeling he plays solitaire while his guests speak.
- He will LOUDLY clear his throat on air.
Aside from these generic qualities that the show possesses, the programming content is simply superb. Take for example yesterday. Now yesterday was not a slow news day. The reservation issue was still simmering, the stock markets had tanked and the fate of an english movie was hanging in balance.
Now most news shows would bring in 3 experts to analyze these 3 different stories, but as you might already be aware, the RKB show is no ordinary news show. The RKB show decided to bring in an expert who was equally competent to speak about ALL THREE ISSUES! The RKB show brought in an.........ASTROLOGER! So for the next hour or so the astrologer informed us that the markets did not tank because of heavy FII and domestic mutual fund selling but because rahu was in line with ketu. That the reservation issue was causing trouble because hamere upar shani ki chaaya hai. That oil prices were at $69 a barrel because stars were in some funky alignment. The other things that the astrologer commented upon were the advent of the monsoons and result of the one day cricket series in West Indies.
Trust me, by the time I the show ended I had a whole new perspective of things which ,I'm sure, the rest of you watching ordinary news channels didn't get.
P.S: for all those lost money in yesterday's market crash, worry not! The astrologer informed us that the stars will be in a sweet spot by 15th June and the sensex will touch 13,000.
