{[['
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']]}I was recently quite fortunate.
I missed the jeep ride for my lil climbing expedition. I started the next day - rick to kurla, train to kalyan, bus (or something that happened to be called one) to small insignificant village ahead of murbad, rick, trek, trek, trek...
Anyway, in the entire weekend, the bus ride was the part of most interest.
I get into the bus. Big bag, sleepy. All seats taken. Last row empty. I think this might not be too bad. I will have my privacy. Maybe catch a nap. I forgot that unlike Esselworld rides, the last seats on MSTC buses are actually the best ones. Total paisa vasool.
20 minutes. Bus is still sitting pretty in bus stand. All seats filled. I am squeezed into corner. Old, mean looking woman sitting next to me. I think if she was pissed she could easily kick my ass. Mosquitoes flying around. Insects, flies, i can understand. Mosquitoes at 9 in the morning inside a bus did not seem right. I start wondering what diseases they might be carrying. Boy it would suck to die of tuberculosis on the top of a hill in the middle of the back of the beyond the corner of the universe.
I go for a kill. Mean lady looks at me. I can see she is thinking "what a wuss". But i dont want to taunt her. So i say nothing. I go for the flying malaria. Miss. I run my hand through my hair, pretending thats what i was doing the whole time. Look to my right, i can see the mean lady think "what a wuss...cityboy". I still say nothing.
Bus starts. I almost stand up to start clapping, but everyone else is totally cool about it. I put on my cool face too. Old lady is thinking "what a loser".
I ask old lady in Hindi, "does the bus go to murbad". I know it does, but after 20 minutes of waiting, failing to kill any dengue jets, and squeezed into a corner, I have got a bit insecure. She replies in Marathi. That is all i know. What she said was lined up alongside the mysteries of the universe. The young guy next to her, told me I was on the bus and i had about an hour of a hell ride.
Good. Let me try to catch some sleep. Trying to get comfortable. Cant straighten legs more than i already have, which is not a lot. Screws jutting out of the seat in the front are jamming into my knees. That does not feel very nice. I try to lay my head onto the window. I realize then why for the longest time i have been feeling my phone (on vibrate mode) was ringing, when it was not (in fact it was off). The bus was vibrating as if it was entering the Earth from outer space and cutting through the atmosphere. Head on side of window was not an option.
Screw it - moved legs around a bit, stretched my back, just nodded off. Struggling to sleep. Noise of bus, baby starts crying for sometime, roads curving, bus turning at 400 mph, experiencing forces upto 8 Gs....still i manage to dose off.
*#$*(@#$@#$98...."what the &#^@"......almost flew off the seat and hitting the roof....
mr bus driver went over a hillock of a speed breaker at 432 mph. Fully awake. 2 people in the middle of the bus are struggling to get a child off the roof. His head went through the roof and is stuck there. Apart from that, everyone still has their cool face on and continue chilling, reading the paper, staring out of the window, hanging on to luggage, dozing off. I try my cool face, look at the old lady. She is staring at me and thinking, "bloody weak spined toddler". I say nothing.
Crack my neck around a bit, calm my nerves....still cant sleep. Spot some slimy mosquitoes. I go for the kill. Miss. #%^#&. Screw it, will try sleeping again. Looking out of window. Rural Maharashtra is flying by. We overtake another ST. It has the wonderful designs on its side, just like our bus. Streaks of pan spit, puke, left over dal, water, and other fluids and semi-fluids spread out from below the windows. Admiring the streaks and BHAM....i hit the roof this time. I experience weightlessness for a nano second.
I experience a rush of fear, excitement, thrill and shock. I take a mental note - this is one of the high points of your life. Literally.
I decide that i am a 'wuss' and sleeping would be dangerous to my physical well being. I look around the bus. Nothing exciting. I look straight ahead. The driver is standing on the accelerator. Its not an easy job.
After an hour or so, i reach little insignificant village. I check all my body parts. Surprisingly they are all their. I wave goodbye to the old lady. "wanker".
I cant wait for my next trip.
