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']]}Over the last two days I've experienced the immense pleasure of standing in two loooooong queues. I enjoyed this experience so much that it set me thinking. After all, the queue is such an integral part of the Indian ethos. The catastrophic demand supply mismatch between the number of counters and the number of people who want to get work done at a counter has ensured that we have all, some time or the other, had to stand in a long queue.
Here are 9 things that you should know about the quintessential Indian queue.
- The queue will NEVER be in a straight line. Why? Because some guys will step aside to see what's going on at the head of the queue.
- Every once in a while a guard/watchman/cop/someone with nothing better to do will come and scream at the people standing in the queue asking form a single straight line. People will temporarily obey orders but within minutes the queue won't be straight anymore. Why? A large number of people will start feeling restless and nauseous because they can't see what's happening at the head of the queue. So the queue will become disorganized till the guard/watchman/cop/someone with nothing better to do comes around again and shouts. This process will be repeated endlessly.
- You will get into an incredibly personal discussion with the person standing ahead of you or behind you. In some cases all three of you will have a conversation. The flow of conversation will usually begin with how inefficient the guy at the counter is or the weather. There is no limit as to where the conversation will end up. You might find yourself disclosing details about you which you would never have dreamt of giving out to a perfect stranger. I guess the fact that the person is waiting in the same queue as you gives him/her some credibility
- Someone in the queue will loudly comment as to how slowly these damn guys at the counter are working. This will be followed by general agreement of others in the queue
- Murphy's law will APPLY! The queue in which you are standing will move the slowest. When, after a lot of self-debate,you decide to stand in another queue, your previous queue will miraculously start moving faster
- The guy in front of you WILL have some problems with his documents. This will inordinately delay you just when you think that you are minutes away from salvation
- Amit has written in response to an earlier post..."When you are the second person in line, you lean over the person at the counter from the side. I think there is a wide belief that doing this will speed up things"
- The staff at the counter will make use of the last second of their lunch break!!! They will not re-open the counter even a second before the designated lunch hour is scheduled to end. Often they will chat and joke around with other staff while you wait helplessly on the other side of the counter. I think they do this to remind us that we are completely powerless against them
- And finally.........Due to ample available time and with nothing better to do, you will judge other people in the queue based on the way they look, what they are wearing, how they stand etc. For example you will say to yourself things like "Wow!!! That geeky looking guy wants to go to the US of A??? If it were up to me I wouldn't even give him a visa to Vashi!!!"
