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']]}Last week, out of the blue, my friend Pappu called me up. We were friends in college but had lost touch after we graduated. Pappu came from a VERY rich family. By sheer determination, grit and greasing of multiple palms Pappu's father has managed to garner 80% of the market share in the sub Rs 20 bra and panty market. Pappu's father wanted him to run the business one day but Pappu had other dreams. Pappu wanted to be a journalist. He thought that he could real make a difference by being a journalist. He wanted to expose corrupt politicians, highlight the need for social reforms and bring about a social revolution through his pen.
When Pappu called me up he sounded really excited. He told me that after having spent a few years writing for local papers in Ludhiana he had finally broken into the big league. He said that he was moving to Bombay as he had received an offer from a big media house. It seems the "HR person" had told him that he would be writing about the city, bringing out the unique issues and events that occurred in the city. When I asked him the name of the paper he said...."Bombay Times". He sounded really enthusiastic so I didn't say much.
Anyway last night Pappu called me again and asked me if I wanted to meet up for a drink. He sounded a little depressed and I wondered what the matter was. We met up at a bar and this is a reproduction of the conversation that followed.
Me: Kya yaar. Whassup? How was your first week at work.
Pappu: Mat pooch yaar.
Me: Why? What happened? Did you get your first assignment? Is it something exciting? Like busting a terrorist network or covering the anti-reservation protests?
Pappu: Well.....I did get my first assignment. My boss told me to go and interview some actress called Kim Sharma
Me: Kim WHO????
Pappu: Ya....Exactly.....That's what I said too. My boss told me that she had made her debut in some Amitab Bacchan movie called Mohabbatein where she shared the screen with 3 other female actresses. Thereafter she starred in movies like Yakeen, Tumse Achcha Kaun Hai and Padmashree Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Me: Hmmmmm.... Must have missed those movies. Not been watching too many Hindi movies lately.
Pappu: No no. Not your fault. It seems that these movies went straight to DVD... Seems that the producers and distributors of these movies lost so much money that they are working as spot boys now. Anyway, he said that I had to write a piece on her.
Me: Okay... so then what happened?
Pappu: Well I called her up and asked her if she was in a movie which was to be released soon. She said that she was really choosy about the films that she did. Her next project was an item number in a movie due for release in 2009. She was concentrating on that at the moment.
So I asked her what I else could write about. At that she got really mad at me. She said that as it is she was paying for this article to appear in Bombay Times. She asked me if I expected her to shell out the cash AND tell me what I should write about!
Me: Wow! That must have been rough. So what did you do?
Pappu: What could I do! I tried to figure out what I could write by asking her a few questions. I asked her if she'd gone to any parties on Saturday. She said that she had partied on Friday night but then she had already paid for he photograph to appear on Sunday's edition of Bombay Times. My boss had mentioned that she was dating some cricketer so I asked her if she wanted to say something about him that I could print. She said no to that too. Said that he could pay for something like that if he wanted. She was paying from her own pocket so the article needed to be about HER!
Me: Aare yaar. Why didn't you ask her to comment on a current issue. UPA government's 2 years in office, reservation in higher education, budhia...You could have asked her for a tidbit on any one of these topics.
Pappu: I did ask her! But she was totally unaware that any of this stuff was happening in this country. In fact when I asked her if she wanted to say something about our home minister she didn't even know that we had a home minister.
Me: Hey even I didn't know that! Who is he anyway? Haven't really seen or heard him say anything of significance in the last 2 years. Anyway carry on...
Pappu: Well I was getting really desperate. I was on the phone for two hours by then and I couldn't think of ANYTHING I could write about. So I asked her what she was doing at that very moment. She told me that she was cursing the maid who had quit her job. Kim said that she had to feed the dog because her maid had left.
Me: Hmmmmm...Okay then what happened....?
Pappu: that's it!
Me: What do you mean that's it! What the hell did you write about?
At this point Pappu got really flustered, suddenly got up and ran out of the bar. I think I heard him cry but I'm not sure.
The mystery was somewhat cleared when I read today's Bombay Times.
Amongst the many stories was one titled "Kim Sharma's "leading" a dog's life". It read "Actor Kim Sharma's in a dilemma nowadays. Her maid left her job rather suddenly and she is completely home-bound thanks to her pet dog, Savannah. Why you might ask? Because she has to take care of her, walk her and feed her. And that's quite a task in itself......"
